Nine out of Ten
by Lazy Tobi
Summary: Spock told Captain Pike he did not understand the complexities of human pranks... That's not the only human thing he doesn't understand.


**Disclaimer**: Standard edition - I own nothing. This is just for funzies. C:

**- Nine out of Ten -**

As a being that grew up outside of Terra, Spock did not know of or understand many customs and traditions upheld by humans. While it is true his mother was a human, she had adopted the Vulcan ways. Although she was prone to emotional outbursts and hyperboles ("Spock, if I said it was a million degrees out, it _was_ a million degrees out. I don't care what the thermometer actually read.") like most humans, she never really immersed him in the human mindset to the point where he understood them. Humans were foolhardy and had a penchant for "looking before they leapt" (to use a human colloquialism); they generally discarded logic in favor of what their gastric acids told them. Spock generally felt repulsed by their behavior; it went against everything he had been taught as a boy. It wasn't that he disliked humans as a race (that would be xenophobic and illogical – and hypocritical, on his part); he just didn't necessarily approve of them or their actions. He had a number of human friends, or what he assumed were friends, and enjoyed their company on a regulated basis. Spock was just perturbed by their lack of logic.

One such day was when he visited the canteen on the campus of Starfleet Academy. Spock did not enjoy visiting it when it was prime time for the cadets to be eating, but on this day he was out of luck. He had a meeting with Captain Pike in just a little over an hour at 1430. He had applied to become the Chief Science Officer on the still-being-built _USS Enterprise_. The captain of the ship, the newly promoted Christopher Pike, had just been announced, and so the rest of the officers were being chosen in rapid succession. Pike had been forwarded the applications sent in as soon as he was notified of his promotion. So far, the head of the medical staff had been decided (Doctor Puri, the top doctor present at the Academy – Spock had met the man a few times for his physicals and found Doctor Puri competent), and the Academy grape vine said Pike had already decided on his Chief Engineer but had yet to notify him/her. That only left the science and communications positions left. Spock knew he had the best credentials of any other applicants, but he had very little experience. He tried to logic his way through the reason behind the meeting with Captain Pike and found two options: either he was being interviewed or he was being notified that he was receiving or not receiving the Chief Science Officer position on the _USS Enterprise_.

Because of his meeting with Captain Pike and also because he had not eaten in over a day, Spock had to visit the canteen at a time when most cadets got their lunch. He didn't mind most of his students, but some of them were quite… _gregarious_. Sometimes he found himself with a cadet, a former student that had moved on to the next grade, hanging their arm around his shoulders, telling his future students to "be afraid, be very afraid" of him and his tests. As it was still within the first month of a new term, Spock calculated the probability that the upperclassmen would want to be perceived as superior and would want to associate themselves with either him or passing his class was quite high. As he did not want to have part in this, he ducked his head as he walked into the canteen, making his way swiftly to the shortest line for a food replicator.

As he waited, Spock's attention was unintentionally grabbed by a familiar laugh. He quite liked her laugh, so it always stood out to him. He closed his eyes, picturing her in his mind: Nyota Uhura, an outstanding cadet on the communications track. Spock did not doubt she would make it onto the _Enterprise_ when the ship was finally built; he also did not doubt she would easily move her way up in ranks until she became the alpha shift chief communications officer. He had the pleasure of being her professor the year before, and she had completely overwhelmed him with her understanding and knowledge of languages. He had not been the only one duly impressed by Nyota Uhura. She had also garnered the attention of the department head, and had been made his teaching assistant, even though she was only a second year student, because she was just that _good_.

Deciding that it would not be unpleasant to spend an additional half hour in Cadet Uhura's presence than usual, Spock looked toward where he heard her laugh to see the cadets she was eating with to see if his company would be accepted. He recognized her roommate, Gaila, from Nyota's descriptions and the reputation Gaila was earning as an Orion woman with _many_ talents and _extreme_ intelligence when it came to engineering. Spock was a bit confused by their two male companions. He knew the blond was James T. Kirk, and he could only assume the dark-haired man was Doctor Leonard McCoy. Spock had nothing against McCoy, since he heard the man was an outstanding doctor, but Kirk was… well, he was a womanizer. While an up-and-coming doctor would not look out of place by Cadet Uhura, Kirk certainly did. Kirk was known as a lazy genius with vague goals about proving he was worth something. That mentality had proven to be major in the advancement of human history, but Kirk had yet to actually prove anything other than he enjoyed chasing skirts.

"So, Uhura, what do you say? On a scale of one to ten, what am I?"

With his attention solely focused on the table and because his hearing was much better than a humans', Spock accidentally started listening in on the conversation between the four cadets.

"With a one being a Vidian with Phage, you're a negative one, Kirk."

"Oh, come on, _Uhura_, I'd say he's at least a zero!"

"Oh, Gaila, you're being very generous."

"It's only for those blue eyes, sweetie, only for them."

"Ugh, _fine_, I can give you that."

"Gee, ladies, I'd _love_ to hear you continue, but _I_ think I'm a nine and you're the only lovely one I need to be complete, Uhura."

No, Spock determined, he was definitely not joining Cadet Uhura. He would not suffer through this unadulterated flirting. Human mating rituals were very long and winding, sometimes without any end. Spock thought Cadet Uhura was too smart to become one of "the notches in Kirk's belt," but perhaps he was mistaken. Perhaps all one needed to warrant her attention was to have unbelievably blue eyes.

Spock mentally chided himself for his last thought, entering a code for a salad into the replicator before swiping his Academy card. He knew he admired Cadet Uhura, possibly more than he should, and he knew he had to regulate himself near her. She was rather distracting at times. Spock knew the scents she usually carried, wild flowers and raspberries. He knew which earrings were her favorites (by deduction, the ones she wore fifty percent more than any other pair were the golden hoops studded with lime green rhinestones), and he knew that she thought the cadet skirts were too short (when she thought he wouldn't notice, she pulled at the hem to cover her thighs more – she was also one of the few female cadets that wore tights under her skirt). Spock noticed many things about Nyota Uhura that he shouldn't, but he couldn't stop himself. Naturally he took everything of his surroundings in, and her presence only heightened his perception. Spock categorized his interest in her as a passing fancy, nothing to pursue unless he was otherwise encouraged. It was not against the fraternization rules because he was no longer her teacher, but Spock didn't like little dalliances that amounted to nothing. He had been on a few dates as a cadet, but the two young women he'd taken to dinner had not made lasting impressions. Spock was a bit surprised he found Cadet Uhura fascinating since she was dark skinned with dark hair when the only humans he'd been mildly interested in had been fair haired and fair skinned.

Taking his salad, Spock left the canteen quicker than he'd entered, not looking back at Cadet Uhura and not noticing her surprised eyes following him out of the building.

Precisely an hour after his meeting, Spock sat in his office, considering the benefits and drawbacks of his interview with Captain Pike. Pike had been very blunt for a human, stating the reasons why he wanted but also did not need Spock as his Chief Science Officer. Once he was done listing those things, Pike had surprised Spock, had literally stated something that Spock had not even considered for a moment in all his calculations, at the end of the interview by stating, "If I choose you as my Chief Science Officer, I also expect you to be my First Officer. I've heard about you, Lutenient Commander Spock, and I've been through your records many times. You're a prize to Starfleet, and I'd like to take your inexperience and take you to grand heights, young man. Now I just have to convince some higher-ups that I'm not insane for taking you, someone who's barely out of the Academy, over seasoned officers many times your senior."

While he was contemplating what had transpired, Cadet Uhura arrived in his office, keys jingling in her nimble fingers.

"Good evening, Spock. Why were you in the canteen earlier? How come you didn't say hello? I've told you Gaila is dying to meet you ever since she found out you're a Vulcan. She's curious at how you took it here being the only one of your species, just like her." Cadet Uhura said pleasantly, flopping into the chair by the other desk in his office. She was the only one of the cadets he allowed to drop the honorific from his name; it seemed natural, coming from her, like the honorific was extra, unneeded baggage. Spock surmised she had unlocked the labs and was joining him to do some of her work in his quiet office. There couldn't have been too many students needing help since only a half hour had passed since his office hours, and his lab hours, had opened.

"Good evening, Cadet. I was getting a midday meal, just like the rest of you. I did not greet you because I believed my presence would be cumbersome. You seemed to be having a pleasant time with Cadet Kirk, at any rate." He didn't think he'd actually voice his thoughts, but there he was, "leaping before he thought." Spock immediately regretted his ending shot, studiously not looking up from his PADD in hope that Cadet Uhura found nothing untoward with his words.

"_Kirk_? Mr. Can't-take-a-hint-even-if-it-killed-him Kirk? I only tolerate him because Gaila likes him. No, you would have been a welcome reprieve, _believe_ me. Next time you see him near me, please, _please_ come by and stretch the truth of you needing me to do something for you. _Immediately_. So I can get out of his annoying company." Cadet Uhura huffed. Spock heard the slight creaking over her chair as she spun slowly in it, completely able to imagine her doing so since he'd seen her do it on numerous occasions in the one month period she'd been working for him. He found it endearing, a sign of human emotion and need for movement under extreme duress. Vulcans would never do such a thing.

"Would that also take you away from his blue eyes?" Spock was a bit emboldened by her somewhat compliment (she _had_ said Kirk was a negative one when a Vidian with Phage was a one, after all), and couldn't really stop his more vocal human half from speaking.

"I could care less for blue eyes; I was just playing with Gaila. I prefer brown, if you must know." Cadet Uhura's voice was a bit different than normal. It was slightly hitched, as if she was annoyed with Spock. Taking that as his cue to stop talking (because, really, he was doing a fine job of "sticking his foot in his mouth," as humans would say), Spock set down his personal PADD to grab the PADDs his students had left for him to grade their essays. When he looked up to his desk, he caught sight of Uhura smirking at him, her eyes twinkling.

"You know, Spock, one a scale from one to ten, with a Vidian with Phage as a one, you're a nine, and I'm the only one you need. Seriously, 'cause you have a lot of PADDs there with tests – or essays? – to grade. I'll take half. I'm almost done with my Andorian work, anyways."

Spock, although it was illogical, hoped Cadet Uhura would not notice how a green tint had formed on his cheeks as she took half of the stack of PADDs from his desk to hers.

**A/N**: _Howdy there. It's me again, lol. :P I saw a tumblr post, and 1.5 hours later, this is complete and derpy and stuff. This is really short for me, since my one-shots generally are at least 5k words long. I hope it's not too short and that y'all enjoyed it. xD_

_~ Tobi_


End file.
